Diogenes |dīˈäjəˌnēz|
(c. 400–c. 325 bc), Greek philosopher. The most noted of the Cynics, he emphasized self-sufficiency and the need for natural, uninhibited behavior, regardless of social conventions.
“What’s wrong with twentysomethings today?” “Where have all the good men gone?” The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal just won’t leave Millennials alone. What’s up with young men and women celebrating slacker culture and drunken escapades by Seth Rogen and Bradley Cooper in films like Knocked Up and The Hangover franchise? Why is Charlie Sheen winning? Should we tweet WTF or LMAO? There’s something happening here. But it isn’t exactly clear. And, maybe, just maybe, it might not be all that bad.
The Path of Least Resistance
Let’s start with what’s expected of us. You’re supposed to finish school, leave home, start a career, become financially independent, get married, buy a house, raise a family, climb the corporate ladder, and retire to live out your Golden Years paid for by the next generation of young people who take the road most respected. But, no, you are refusing to grow up. You think nothing of moving to a new apartment every year, or moving back in with your parents—more than once. You burn through an average of seven jobs in your 20s. You live with serial partners without marrying. And when you do marry, the median age is between 23 and 28 for men (21 and 26 for women)—later than ever. In 1960, two out of three men (three out of four women) had committed to living the American Dream by the time they turned 30. Today, fewer than one-third of young men and half of young women are living that life. You don’t care about getting rich. You don’t care about fitting in. You don’t care about any of the things that matter most to your parents. No permanent home. No permanent job. No permanent commitments. Society doesn’t know what to make of you. Your parents call you lazy and self-absorbed. But Diogenes would call you his children.
The Right Influence
Diogenes was a Greek, born 400 years before the birth of Christ in present-day Turkey. His father was a successful banker, and Diogenes worked with him until he screwed up so badly that he was banished from the city of his birth and moved to Athens. He never owned a home. He never had a wife or family. He never held a job. He never had an income. He dressed and smelled like a beggar and slept in a discarded wooden barrel. He ate whatever he happened to find, and because people threw bones and scraps of food at him, Diogenes was nicknamed The Dog. He owned a single wooden bowl, but destroyed it when he learned to drink from his hands. He urinated on people he didn’t like and masturbated in public. Invited to dinner, he’d been known to clear his throat and expectorate into his host’s face. He once ended a conversation by squatting down and evacuating his bowels. He did little teaching or philosophizing, but demonstrated utter contempt for society’s conventions and delighted in offending everyone, the have-nots and the have-lots alike. He was an outcast—a man with no status and no socially approved identity. Yet he always had a boisterous sense of humor and took enormous pleasure in everything he did. He was happy.
Diogenes was one of the few men to ever publicly insult Alexander the Great and live. So impressed was he with Diogenes that Alexander said of him, “If Alexander were not Alexander, he would wish to be Diogenes.” Routinely, Diogenes intellectually mocked and publicly humiliated both Plato and his teachings. He called Plato’s philosophy a waste of time and during one of his lectures, Diogenes forced him to change his mind by throwing a chicken at Plato. Nevertheless, Plato counted Diogenes among his friends, inviting him to dine at his home (where Diogenes intentionally trampled all over Plato’s expensive cushions with his muddy feet) and comparing him favorably to Plato’s beloved Socrates.
Apathy Vs. Honesty
In contemporary times, today’s youth may not be expectorating in their hosts faces, but many of them are equally as abrasive and apathetic as Diogenes—not to mention unashamed. Hiring managers report that the worst interview mistakes made by twentysomethings are the result of absolute honesty and transparency. When a candidate was asked why he was looking to change jobs after five years, he replied, “I’ve been twiddling my thumbs for six months.” When asked if he had any questions for the HR manager, one candidate said, “Do you have something to eat? I’m hungry.” Another one asked, “What’s your drug testing policy?” HR managers have seen twentysomething job applicants attend interviews wearing flip-flops, the uniform of a competitor, and a cat costume. Twentysomethings just don’t want to behave inauthentically and in bad faith. They want to wear clothes that feel comfortable to them. I can hear our concerned elders now, “Do they realize how much they’re undermining the economy and the productivity and effectiveness of Corporate America?!”
But this behavior may not be the end of the world—and there’s more to it than meets the eye. Yes, money can make you happier. But studies show the effect wears off after earning $75,000 a year. More money, more happiness. Until you reach $75K. Then, no gain in happiness, just more stress and pressure. After that, we can’t seem to get enough of what we don’t really want. Just ask the hodo-hodo.
In Japan, young workers are turning down promotions, refusing raises, and requesting jobs with minimal responsibilities. Switching jobs not to get ahead, but to get out of jobs they say are too stressful and demanding. You can count on three fingers the percentage of young workers who say that they are putting their best effort into their jobs. Management and supervisory positions are becoming almost impossible to fill. HR experts are coaching corporate leaders on how to persuade young workers to accept promotions. More money, prestige, and power don’t work anymore. The hodo-hodo are wrecking Corporate Japan by striving not to be too much in this world.
For American twentysomethings, work is not life. It’s a living. We don’t want to adjust our lives around work. We want to adjust work around our lives. Work is not a special place you go. Work is a thing you do.
But dating, apparently, is not. Commitment-free hook-ups and casual sexual encounters with no strings attached have replaced the courting game. Dinner and a movie may be a step toward a permanent relationship and marriage, but they take time. And with so many more people to meet via Twitter and Facebook, each person gets less time. Less time means hooking up, not dating.
But when twentysomethings do decide to procreate, they are refusing to follow etiquette. They’re naming they’re kids Abcde, Jerusalen, Darwin Thierry. A whopping 36 percent of 25- to 29-year-olds have tattoos. And they are fearless about what they are putting on themselves: A twentysomething mom with four kids got a footprint from each going up her calf. One guy wanted four different mustaches on his fingers so he could put each finger up to his lip to create a different finger mustache. Welcome to the new normal.
Top Dog Or Dirty Rotten Scoundrel?
No question, Diogenes’ behavior was subversive and rebellious, indecent and pornographic. The high and mighty didn’t like it. But they understood it. They accepted it. And they respected it. That’s because Diogenes answered by living example the big question that everyone everywhere asks almost from the moment of birth – How do I live a happy life? Diogenes believed that the goal of life is to attain happiness and that to achieve happiness one must lead a moral life guided by reason. And because he found man-made, artificial roles and rules of behavior to be irrational, hypocritical, and incompatible with a happy life, Diogenes tried to cure the falsehoods of conventional thinking and improve society morally. In his own words, “Other dogs bite their enemies, but I bite my friends to save them.”
So, to give you the real story behind Diogenes’ behavior and find out what makes him tick, we asked the big man himself—or, let’s just say, we channeled him through a well-connected source. Get ready for a serious dose of wisdom from the ages.
Diogenese: The 21st Century Interview
If you want people to get out of the box, it’s not enough for you to live outside the box. You have to poke the box. That said, what advice would Diogenes give to today’s twentysomethings, their parents, and our host society, if he could speak? In the spirit of what we can only describe as a reverse Miss Manners, Diogenes advises on some of life’s most ponderous situations—in only the way he can:
Diogenes on… the passage of time: Your dogs are superior to you. Dogs never hear the clock strike. They are unconcerned with the past or the future, living in the present moment and for the present moment. They live without any idea of tomorrow to contend with. But what the clock says is so profoundly important to you that it drives you like a slave. You finished school, left home, started a career, married, made a family, and retired just because the clock told you that it was time to do so. You have complicated a simple gift of the gods. I once asked Alexander what his plans were. To conquer Greece, he answered. Then what? I asked. To conquer Asia. And then? To conquer the world. What next? I replied. Alexander told me that after all that conquering, he planned to relax and enjoy himself. I responded. Why not save yourself a lot of trouble by relaxing and enjoying yourself now? Parents, let your children relax and enjoy themselves now!
Diogenes on… not playing by the rules: There is nothing the matter with you. You eat when you’re hungry, rest when you’re fatigued, leave jobs when you are bored, marry when you are ready, quit something when you are done, work when you need money, play when you feel playful, and your house is wherever you can lie down to sleep. You live in the present, happily and without anxiety. Happiness belongs to you because you live independent from an irrational society in which neither peace nor rest can be found playing by its rules.
Diogenes… on the trappings of life: Do you know what’s wrong with growing up, getting somewhere, and becoming someone? You have to earn an income (read: dead-end job), live your dreams (in your spare time), follow your passions (but not at work), fall in love (have a bitter divorce), start a family (have disrespectful children), network with the right people (kiss butt), climb the corporate ladder (cubicle farm), be financially responsible (go into debt), stay healthy (take drugs), have fun (on weekends and holidays), and retire (die). There is nothing wrong with twentysomethings. They just want to be human beings and enjoy life. What’s wrong with freedom from worry or care or from frustrated desires for the superfluous? What’s wrong with not going down the same dead-end streets as their parents? I lit a lantern and strolled about Athens in full daylight looking for a human being. I could find none then. I would find many now.
Diogenes… on relationships: When I was scolded for eating in the marketplace, your grocery store, a strict no-no, then as now I responded that it was there I felt hungry. Like hooking up, it’s more practical and a lot more fun.
Diogenes on… honesty and transparency: Young men and women are more honest and genuine than you are. Like dogs, they don’t respect big titles, fancy offices, and fat paychecks, and pay no attention to such pretensions. They bark at those who deserve barking at and offend those who need offending. Dogs don’t treat other dogs as means to an end. Dogs don’t network. Alexander once found me studying a pile of human bones. When he asked what I was doing, I responded that I was looking for the bones of his father but could not tell them from those of a slave. Your children have chosen to distance themselves from your vanity and self-deception. Plato once found me knee deep in a stream washing vegetables. He told me that if I knew how to kiss up to kings, I wouldn’t have to wash vegetables. I replied that if he knew how to wash vegetables, Plato would not have to kiss the butts of kings. Subtle whoring is still whoring.
Diogenes on… non-conformism: Dogs care nothing about being cool or following fashions of any kind. They make up their own minds. When people laughed at me because I walked backward, I said to them, “You walk backward along the whole path of existence. Aren’t you ashamed?” Do you want to know my worst nightmare? It is waking to find myself living in a palace, and everyone else in barrels.
Diogenes on… superficial urges: Happiness is the greatest good in life. But the goals you aspire to, the chief cornerstones of your way of life – pleasure, wealth, fame, and power – are unnatural and irrational. Imposed on you by society and by false notions of what you need, they are not natural and necessary desires like food and shelter. And they are impossible to satisfy because they have no natural limit. Pleasure is not happiness, and happiness has little to do with a person’s luxuries, popularity, or status. Alexander found me sunning myself in the morning. He asked if there was any favor he might do for me, anything I wanted. I told him to move because he was blocking my sunlight. He has the most who is most content with the least.
Diogenes was well respected and so popular among the people that at his death, a marble column terminating in the figure of a dog was raised over his tomb and many statues were erected in his memory. Not how you would expect his neighbors to treat a man who delighted in pointing at them with his middle finger. The message? Have no fear in being true to yourself. Job. Home. Spouse. These things are important. But more important is a happy life guided by reason. Diogenes is alive in many of today’s young men and women who are not afraid to say, I can be happy without these things because I am more than what I do. I am me.
(c. 400–c. 325 bc), Greek philosopher. The most noted of the Cynics, he emphasized self-sufficiency and the need for natural, uninhibited behavior, regardless of social conventions.
“What’s wrong with twentysomethings today?” “Where have all the good men gone?” The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal just won’t leave Millennials alone. What’s up with young men and women celebrating slacker culture and drunken escapades by Seth Rogen and Bradley Cooper in films like Knocked Up and The Hangover franchise? Why is Charlie Sheen winning? Should we tweet WTF or LMAO? There’s something happening here. But it isn’t exactly clear. And, maybe, just maybe, it might not be all that bad.
The Path of Least Resistance
Let’s start with what’s expected of us. You’re supposed to finish school, leave home, start a career, become financially independent, get married, buy a house, raise a family, climb the corporate ladder, and retire to live out your Golden Years paid for by the next generation of young people who take the road most respected. But, no, you are refusing to grow up. You think nothing of moving to a new apartment every year, or moving back in with your parents—more than once. You burn through an average of seven jobs in your 20s. You live with serial partners without marrying. And when you do marry, the median age is between 23 and 28 for men (21 and 26 for women)—later than ever. In 1960, two out of three men (three out of four women) had committed to living the American Dream by the time they turned 30. Today, fewer than one-third of young men and half of young women are living that life. You don’t care about getting rich. You don’t care about fitting in. You don’t care about any of the things that matter most to your parents. No permanent home. No permanent job. No permanent commitments. Society doesn’t know what to make of you. Your parents call you lazy and self-absorbed. But Diogenes would call you his children.
The Right Influence
Diogenes was a Greek, born 400 years before the birth of Christ in present-day Turkey. His father was a successful banker, and Diogenes worked with him until he screwed up so badly that he was banished from the city of his birth and moved to Athens. He never owned a home. He never had a wife or family. He never held a job. He never had an income. He dressed and smelled like a beggar and slept in a discarded wooden barrel. He ate whatever he happened to find, and because people threw bones and scraps of food at him, Diogenes was nicknamed The Dog. He owned a single wooden bowl, but destroyed it when he learned to drink from his hands. He urinated on people he didn’t like and masturbated in public. Invited to dinner, he’d been known to clear his throat and expectorate into his host’s face. He once ended a conversation by squatting down and evacuating his bowels. He did little teaching or philosophizing, but demonstrated utter contempt for society’s conventions and delighted in offending everyone, the have-nots and the have-lots alike. He was an outcast—a man with no status and no socially approved identity. Yet he always had a boisterous sense of humor and took enormous pleasure in everything he did. He was happy.
Diogenes was one of the few men to ever publicly insult Alexander the Great and live. So impressed was he with Diogenes that Alexander said of him, “If Alexander were not Alexander, he would wish to be Diogenes.” Routinely, Diogenes intellectually mocked and publicly humiliated both Plato and his teachings. He called Plato’s philosophy a waste of time and during one of his lectures, Diogenes forced him to change his mind by throwing a chicken at Plato. Nevertheless, Plato counted Diogenes among his friends, inviting him to dine at his home (where Diogenes intentionally trampled all over Plato’s expensive cushions with his muddy feet) and comparing him favorably to Plato’s beloved Socrates.
Apathy Vs. Honesty
In contemporary times, today’s youth may not be expectorating in their hosts faces, but many of them are equally as abrasive and apathetic as Diogenes—not to mention unashamed. Hiring managers report that the worst interview mistakes made by twentysomethings are the result of absolute honesty and transparency. When a candidate was asked why he was looking to change jobs after five years, he replied, “I’ve been twiddling my thumbs for six months.” When asked if he had any questions for the HR manager, one candidate said, “Do you have something to eat? I’m hungry.” Another one asked, “What’s your drug testing policy?” HR managers have seen twentysomething job applicants attend interviews wearing flip-flops, the uniform of a competitor, and a cat costume. Twentysomethings just don’t want to behave inauthentically and in bad faith. They want to wear clothes that feel comfortable to them. I can hear our concerned elders now, “Do they realize how much they’re undermining the economy and the productivity and effectiveness of Corporate America?!”
But this behavior may not be the end of the world—and there’s more to it than meets the eye. Yes, money can make you happier. But studies show the effect wears off after earning $75,000 a year. More money, more happiness. Until you reach $75K. Then, no gain in happiness, just more stress and pressure. After that, we can’t seem to get enough of what we don’t really want. Just ask the hodo-hodo.
In Japan, young workers are turning down promotions, refusing raises, and requesting jobs with minimal responsibilities. Switching jobs not to get ahead, but to get out of jobs they say are too stressful and demanding. You can count on three fingers the percentage of young workers who say that they are putting their best effort into their jobs. Management and supervisory positions are becoming almost impossible to fill. HR experts are coaching corporate leaders on how to persuade young workers to accept promotions. More money, prestige, and power don’t work anymore. The hodo-hodo are wrecking Corporate Japan by striving not to be too much in this world.
For American twentysomethings, work is not life. It’s a living. We don’t want to adjust our lives around work. We want to adjust work around our lives. Work is not a special place you go. Work is a thing you do.
But dating, apparently, is not. Commitment-free hook-ups and casual sexual encounters with no strings attached have replaced the courting game. Dinner and a movie may be a step toward a permanent relationship and marriage, but they take time. And with so many more people to meet via Twitter and Facebook, each person gets less time. Less time means hooking up, not dating.
But when twentysomethings do decide to procreate, they are refusing to follow etiquette. They’re naming they’re kids Abcde, Jerusalen, Darwin Thierry. A whopping 36 percent of 25- to 29-year-olds have tattoos. And they are fearless about what they are putting on themselves: A twentysomething mom with four kids got a footprint from each going up her calf. One guy wanted four different mustaches on his fingers so he could put each finger up to his lip to create a different finger mustache. Welcome to the new normal.
Top Dog Or Dirty Rotten Scoundrel?
No question, Diogenes’ behavior was subversive and rebellious, indecent and pornographic. The high and mighty didn’t like it. But they understood it. They accepted it. And they respected it. That’s because Diogenes answered by living example the big question that everyone everywhere asks almost from the moment of birth – How do I live a happy life? Diogenes believed that the goal of life is to attain happiness and that to achieve happiness one must lead a moral life guided by reason. And because he found man-made, artificial roles and rules of behavior to be irrational, hypocritical, and incompatible with a happy life, Diogenes tried to cure the falsehoods of conventional thinking and improve society morally. In his own words, “Other dogs bite their enemies, but I bite my friends to save them.”
So, to give you the real story behind Diogenes’ behavior and find out what makes him tick, we asked the big man himself—or, let’s just say, we channeled him through a well-connected source. Get ready for a serious dose of wisdom from the ages.
Diogenese: The 21st Century Interview
If you want people to get out of the box, it’s not enough for you to live outside the box. You have to poke the box. That said, what advice would Diogenes give to today’s twentysomethings, their parents, and our host society, if he could speak? In the spirit of what we can only describe as a reverse Miss Manners, Diogenes advises on some of life’s most ponderous situations—in only the way he can:
Diogenes on… the passage of time: Your dogs are superior to you. Dogs never hear the clock strike. They are unconcerned with the past or the future, living in the present moment and for the present moment. They live without any idea of tomorrow to contend with. But what the clock says is so profoundly important to you that it drives you like a slave. You finished school, left home, started a career, married, made a family, and retired just because the clock told you that it was time to do so. You have complicated a simple gift of the gods. I once asked Alexander what his plans were. To conquer Greece, he answered. Then what? I asked. To conquer Asia. And then? To conquer the world. What next? I replied. Alexander told me that after all that conquering, he planned to relax and enjoy himself. I responded. Why not save yourself a lot of trouble by relaxing and enjoying yourself now? Parents, let your children relax and enjoy themselves now!
Diogenes on… not playing by the rules: There is nothing the matter with you. You eat when you’re hungry, rest when you’re fatigued, leave jobs when you are bored, marry when you are ready, quit something when you are done, work when you need money, play when you feel playful, and your house is wherever you can lie down to sleep. You live in the present, happily and without anxiety. Happiness belongs to you because you live independent from an irrational society in which neither peace nor rest can be found playing by its rules.
Diogenes… on the trappings of life: Do you know what’s wrong with growing up, getting somewhere, and becoming someone? You have to earn an income (read: dead-end job), live your dreams (in your spare time), follow your passions (but not at work), fall in love (have a bitter divorce), start a family (have disrespectful children), network with the right people (kiss butt), climb the corporate ladder (cubicle farm), be financially responsible (go into debt), stay healthy (take drugs), have fun (on weekends and holidays), and retire (die). There is nothing wrong with twentysomethings. They just want to be human beings and enjoy life. What’s wrong with freedom from worry or care or from frustrated desires for the superfluous? What’s wrong with not going down the same dead-end streets as their parents? I lit a lantern and strolled about Athens in full daylight looking for a human being. I could find none then. I would find many now.
Diogenes… on relationships: When I was scolded for eating in the marketplace, your grocery store, a strict no-no, then as now I responded that it was there I felt hungry. Like hooking up, it’s more practical and a lot more fun.
Diogenes on… honesty and transparency: Young men and women are more honest and genuine than you are. Like dogs, they don’t respect big titles, fancy offices, and fat paychecks, and pay no attention to such pretensions. They bark at those who deserve barking at and offend those who need offending. Dogs don’t treat other dogs as means to an end. Dogs don’t network. Alexander once found me studying a pile of human bones. When he asked what I was doing, I responded that I was looking for the bones of his father but could not tell them from those of a slave. Your children have chosen to distance themselves from your vanity and self-deception. Plato once found me knee deep in a stream washing vegetables. He told me that if I knew how to kiss up to kings, I wouldn’t have to wash vegetables. I replied that if he knew how to wash vegetables, Plato would not have to kiss the butts of kings. Subtle whoring is still whoring.
Diogenes on… non-conformism: Dogs care nothing about being cool or following fashions of any kind. They make up their own minds. When people laughed at me because I walked backward, I said to them, “You walk backward along the whole path of existence. Aren’t you ashamed?” Do you want to know my worst nightmare? It is waking to find myself living in a palace, and everyone else in barrels.
Diogenes on… superficial urges: Happiness is the greatest good in life. But the goals you aspire to, the chief cornerstones of your way of life – pleasure, wealth, fame, and power – are unnatural and irrational. Imposed on you by society and by false notions of what you need, they are not natural and necessary desires like food and shelter. And they are impossible to satisfy because they have no natural limit. Pleasure is not happiness, and happiness has little to do with a person’s luxuries, popularity, or status. Alexander found me sunning myself in the morning. He asked if there was any favor he might do for me, anything I wanted. I told him to move because he was blocking my sunlight. He has the most who is most content with the least.
Diogenes was well respected and so popular among the people that at his death, a marble column terminating in the figure of a dog was raised over his tomb and many statues were erected in his memory. Not how you would expect his neighbors to treat a man who delighted in pointing at them with his middle finger. The message? Have no fear in being true to yourself. Job. Home. Spouse. These things are important. But more important is a happy life guided by reason. Diogenes is alive in many of today’s young men and women who are not afraid to say, I can be happy without these things because I am more than what I do. I am me.
